Why Did I Get Married?
We get married for different reasons and have kids during different times in our lives. Some of you may have married your high school sweet heart. Others may have settled down later in life and gotten married in your mid-30s. It is just as common to have been divorced, with or without kids, and remarried with a blended family. Whatever your familial composition, the common interests that brought you and your wife together may not have included PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.
My marriage to my inspiring wife JoAnna, was built on three pillars, one of which was physical activity. Early on, I invited her to come train with me at the gym where I devoted a lot of time in my attempt to compete as an amateur Muay Thai Kickboxer. She KICKED BUTT! So much so, I invited her, along with another amateur kickboxer, to a weekend session of my creation of running, stadiums, sprints, calisthenics and of course MORE RUNNING! She absolutely THRIVED and left my fellow kickboxer in her dust. It was all love after that! 😊
Start Where You Are At!
HOWEVER! I realize that some of my soon to be ACTIVE-DADs may be starting somewhere else. Because of this, prioritizing physical activity in your daily routine may be a foreign concept for your household, and going 0 to 100 may not get the support you were anticipating.
In that case, a tough conversation MUST be had. Now, if you are that dad that already has A GIZILLION “Guy’s Nights”, or “Hanging with the Fellas” is already a daily or weekly routine that take you away from the family, this conversation may be one where you are coming to the table with cutbacks on those Men Moments.
Time Management: Protect Your Time!
I don’t speak from experience in this instance. Being thousands of miles away from the close friends I grew up with, the one thing that takes me away from home is WORK. This is more than enough and having a night with the fellas is actually taking away from much desired family time. I enjoy being with my family and until I am told differently, it is reciprocated. So, you can imagine that I am protective of my time. If the night out is not kid friendly or does not include childcare, there AIN’T NO WAY I’m counting myself in when I know it requires my wife to hold down the fort for a non-work-related outing.
Wherever you are in your journey, at a certain point as a dad, you come to the realization that it is time for a change. The man you were yesterday may not be the man you are today. Or better yet, the man you were yesterday may not be the man you WANT to be today! Some of us may grow UP (maturation). Some of us may grow OUT (waist and gut). If you find yourself on the latter end of the growth spectrum, do yourself a favor, do your family a favor and MAKE A CHANGE!
Parenthood is not a one man show. Prioritizing physical activity should not be either.
Let’s face it, taking time to engage in physical activity that doesn’t involve a family activity (hiking, bike riding, etc.), can be perceived as a selfish act by some not accustomed to this behavior. The act itself, you are leaving your wife with the kid(s) to focus on yourself. SELFISH!
However, if you turn around and offer the same support for your wife to focus on herself…NOT SELFISH!
It All Depends on How You Frame It
If prioritizing physical activity is a new concept in your household, here are some steps to align yourself with the goal of prioritizing physical activity:
- State your case on how you endeavor to better yourself
- Explain how your self-improvement is beneficial to the FAMILY UNIT
- Lay out how you intend to make changes that prioritize physical activity
- Plan dates that incorporate family outings that prioritize physical activity
- Plan days and times you scheduled for yourself to prioritizing physical activity
- Devout time to support your spouse in prioritizing what she expresses is important
- EXECUTE, EXECUTE EXECUTE!!!
- Reevaluate monthly or as frequently as necessary
One thing I cannot stress enough, for the “Guys night out” crowd…sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice!!! Nothing speaks louder than sacrifice. You want to show your wife how SERIOUS you are, how ENERGIZED you are, how MOTIVATED YOU ARE!!! Be willing to come to the table with something to sacrifice.
The #LetUSBeGreat! CHALLENGE
If you are not an ACTIVE-DAD yet, I CHALLENGE YOU to have the tough conversation to lay out your plans of what you would like to achieve and what type of support it would require of your spouse, and in turn, what support you will be giving to THEM.
All dads should be ACTIVE-DADS.
Report back on your CHALLENGE!
Let me know how I can help!
www.ACTIVE-DAD.com