You have heard it called “Finding Your Purpose”, or “Following Your Dreams”! The new catchphrase is “Finding Your Why”. Live long enough and you will have seen old concepts repackaged into new, fresher terms (Emotional Intelligence vs plain ol’ Not Being A Jerk). Call it what you want. The idea remains, if you do not have a passion or something deep down, driving you to justify and validate your decisions, you run that chance of bouncing from one purpose to the next.
It is imperative to note that your “why”, CAN, and most likely, WILL, change with time. Or better yet, your “why” may stay the same, but your path to it will often change. In my case, it has expanded, and the path has become less treacherous.
Kids Ruin Your Life: I know you have heard it. There seems to be a growing negative connotation with having kids these days.
Prior to the birth of Elliora Zyah in 2016, me and my wife, JoAnna, were recipients of a lot of feedback on how our lives would change. “You will not be able to be the active people that you have always been”, they said. We could “kiss traveling good bye”, et cetera, et cetera. While that may have been the reality of those individuals that voiced their opinions, it has not been our reality. Hindsight being as it is, I may have to give some credit to those individuals. Those individuals caused a conversation and dialogue to transpire between me and JoAnna. The conversation solidified our “Whys” as a family. Tell two stubborn people what they CANNOT do, and watch them do it (‘MERICA!).
I have had many conversations with dads, and the results have been both funny, and eye opening. The majority of their “It’s Time To Grind” moments, were aroused by a birth of a child (anecdotally speaking). I know it sounds cliché. Oftentimes, their stories are bookmarked with taking a leap of faith after “Aisha” was born. I share this awakening with my fellow dads.
Dad Bod: Read the words or think of a Dad Bod, and I can be confident that you have an image or description already in your mind. Fast forward to full time parenthood. At this point JoAnna and I have figured out a few things, as it pertains to finding our “groove” as parents and full-time employees. At lunch one day, as I was sitting in my agency’s breakroom, a conversation transpired between me and middle-aged mother of pre-teens. So far, I had continued to be the active person I have always been. I have always found a way to Prioritize My Time. However, my personal standards are pretty high and I may have some body image issues (that is a story for another day). This conversation addressed the challenges of finding time to be physically active. I was encouraged by this lovely lady to “Embrace the Dad Bod”. At this point, Dad Bod did not necessarily have a positive image (that image popped in my head) . It still does not. Part of Active-Dad’s mission is to change the narrative of what a “Dad-Bod” is. Originally, Active-Dad was supposed to be “Dad Bod:Redfined”. Believe it or not, IT IS ALREADY TAKEN! (shout out to them though). This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because such a name would have construed our message to being fixated on body appearance. At Active-Dad, we are all about healthy living through physical activity. If you have a six-pack of abs, that is great! If not, that is great too! This is not about workout videos or body image pictures, this is about Getting Up, Getting Out, and Getting Moving!
Do as I say, AND Do as I do: Probably one of the most hated rebuttals from our parents growing up was “Because I said so!” Couple that with “Do as I say, not as I do”, you have zero understanding to why you had to obey those commands, other than the consequences that lie before you had you not. As an adult, I am sure we have all had that apparent unhealthy person attempting to give you health tips? I can almost guarantee that you thought “How can they help me, when they need to help themselves”, or something like that. That is not to be malicious. That is just the reality of credibility. You cannot just talk the talk.
At the age of 2.5 years, my daughter L.O.V.E.S. being outdoors. Aside from the numerous hiking trips she has endured with me and JoAnna (I will have to quantify them someday), I also took her on runs upwards of 7+ miles in our B.O.B. stroller (which by the way, the people of my agency purchased for us because they knew it would get plenty of miles). You never know the impact you are having on your child’s development, until they show you.
It is week three of paternity/annual leave for our new baby boy Tiras, and Elliora demonstrated the impact our behavior as parents have had by coming up to me after her nap and saying “Daddy, let’s go run!”. My jaw dropped. I looked at my wife. I asked Elliora, “Say what now?”. Elliora repeated, “Daddy, let’s go run!” I didn’t care how tired I was at that moment (Tiras was two plus weeks old at this point, sooo…), me and Elliora were going on that run. We ran the entire block in a loop. My 33 lbs., 37-inch, loud, stubborn daughter wanted to run, and we did. We did this three days out of that week. I WAS ELATED!!! (Now, if she will only go pee pee in the potty again! PLEASE BLACK JESUS!)
If there exists a “Why” greater than instilling these values and appreciations into our kids, I do not know of it. But, you cannot just talk the talk! Of course, we all want to prosper and live long enough to see our kids’ kids. If at the end of the day, our kids learn to value physical activity and make it a part of their daily life…MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
State and National Parks will only be as valuable as the number of people who visit them, and sidewalks, bike lanes and trails will only be as valuable as the people who use them. Use it OR lose it folks!
Final Thought: Look, the data is at your fingertips. America is obese, our kids are fatter than ever, and it has become an epidemic. Now, I am not going to cite the research and the epidemiological studies. We ALL know it is true! But beyond the numbers, ask yourself, are you happy with the person in the mirror? Do you engage in ANY physical activity, or have you relegated yourself to a sedentary lifestyle? Most importantly, are you healthy? JUST BE HEALTHY!!! Your kids will likely follow suit.
This was a great article. Glad I read it. I am going to be more active with my daughter.
Russ, what would you find useful? Instructions, activities available to you, resources? Or would just plain seeing other dads doing it for sheer motivation hellp? Let me know!